MY religion is better than YOUR religion (or "MY religion is real whereas yours is just plain silly")

So I published a Sarah Silverman meme on facebook the other day.  I really like Sarah Silverman.  I freakin' LOVED her show.  It was so kooky, the humour so irreverent - she and the team she worked with had me in absolute stitches.  David and I both fell in love with her and her craziness.

Needless to say, Sarah Silverman has some fairly great lines when it comes to religion.  Being of Jewish descent and having a Catholic boyfriend at one time, she once described an imaginary conversion with her future children as thus:  "Mommy is one of God's chosen people and Daddy thinks Jesus is MAGIC."

Here's the meme I posted:

Now I don't think this needs much commentary.  This is from a very highly respected comedian, after all.  What kind of surprised me was that a friend of a friend who had liked this post on my wall decided to prove to me that in no way could one compare Scientology to Catholicism.

For some reason folks who subscribe to a religion that has been around since the dark ages like to view Scientology as if it is a cult.  The same goes for Mormonism as well.  I've heard folks say that stuff in the bible is pretty "out there" but Mormons are just "crazy".  It's as if, somehow, these new religions are just plain silly whereas our ancient Abrahamic faiths are somehow much more plausible and respectable.

I consider myself to be agnostic, I'm not an Atheist.  Many people of a faith can't actually tell the difference between the two (here's a clue, I used a capital "A" for Atheist).  The reason I'm agnostic is that I find Atheism requires one to subscribe to a belief system not unlike those that are held by people of faith.  As an agnostic, I won't subscribe to a belief system because I just don't know!

Nobody comes to a religious belief all on their own - they are either led by somebody to drink from the fountain of faith or they surmise from the teachings of others a new path and become one of the leaders.  Quite often these preachers try to convince folks that what they are preaching is the only path, the only one and truly righteous path.  By this definition, anyone who subscribes to only one religion immediately becomes intolerant of all the others.  You have to reject all the other belief systems in order to truly adhere to the one that you call your own.  You have to pick.  I don't want to pick.  I never want to pick.  The reason I don't want to is that I just don't know.

 

As a result of this, I have found that I can be eternally open to the teachings of every faith.  I can read any book, I can find beautiful uplifting quotes from the Koran, the Bhagavad Gita to the Bible.  And I'm not limited to "official" texts - I can happily find spiritual succour in ancient manuscripts like the Coptic texts.    I can also find crazy damaging stuff - so ultimately if you ask me to bat for one particular team I will gracefully bow out of the room and vehemently decline.

 

Here's one of my favourites, from the Gospel of Thomas:

 

Jesus said, "The pharisees and the scribes have taken the keys of knowledge (gnosis) and hidden them. They themselves have not entered, nor have they allowed to enter those who wish to. You, however, be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves."

We live in a world where every day we learn something new.  Every day we learn something new about ourselves, the world we live in and the universe that it inhabits.  We cannot surely declare that there is no greater power out there, just as easily as we cannot surely declare that there is.  I'll wait, thank you very much, until we can actually determine whether this is the case or not and I won't be swayed by any fear mongering that if I don't pick THIS team RIGHT NOW then I will sadly not get to spend eternity in the ONLY afterlife.  THAT, my friends, is not something that I can believe a higher power would have us do.  That does not bear any resemblance to an enlightened being, that is a fascistic dictatorial power hungry being.  And THAT is all too human for my liking.

How easy it is for someone of faith to deride another person's faith as rubbish.  How easy it is to make fun of the NEW kid on the block whilst failing to see that the old kid is just as ridiculous?  I don't need to go into much detail to point out the crazy stuff that can be found in Christianity (or any of the Abrahamic faiths for that matter).  I mean, it all begins with a talking snake and a deity that was so powerful that he created the entire universe out of absolutely nothing but when he came around to making a female human he had to borrow one of the male's ribs in order to do so!    

If these are just "metaphors", as is invariably put forth once science starts to prove that the concepts are a little ridiculous to accept as facts, then why can we not right now just assume that the whole shebang is metaphoric and be done with the "this can be the ONLY truth that you will ever need to know"?

Since time immemorial mankind has worshipped deities - there have been so many that we literally cannot count them all. What this tells me is that since the dawn of mankind we have never been able to fully comprehend the unknown but we have always felt compelled to try .  We most likely never will be able to grasp it.

 

Bear in mind that if there really is a creator of everything then that means that every deed that we can do, whether we view it as good, bad, ugly, evil or blessed, is something that actually comes from that same deity.  Disease, mass destruction, the euphoric love that we feel for our children - all of this stems from the creator of everything!  It's enough to blow your mind and quite often it blows away all reasoning when folks try to comprehend its meaning.  All we can do is marvel at our inability to do so and keep trying to do so at the very same time.

God is everywhere, including nowhere.

Or as the love of my life likes to say "God is everything I do not know, and I learn something new every day."

I'm not "rolling my eyes" up at you, I'm looking deep into my soul!

I've been asked to write something of a very personal nature about what it is like to live with a survivor of child sex abuse.  This was something that was asked of me some time ago by an organisation that helps to promote awareness of this in Australia and has been of so much help to countless survivors that I couldn't really say no to them, but it certainly has not been something that I have found comes easily.

The first thing that springs to mind is this is not a normal relationship.  I cannot really compare my relationship to anybody else's.   I know we're all different in our own way, but usually girls (and gays) can sit with one another and vent about their boys being boys and driving them up the wall.   And equally the men (and the gays) can bitch about how their old lady is nagging them to death.  Cliches, I know, but also truths.  So my friends and their relationships are just completely alien to what David and I go through.

I've given up trying to explain my woes to my friends, who often offer really unhelpful suggestions like "you need to draw a line" or "you need to stand up for yourself".  Don't get me wrong, I'm no weak flower or pushover when it comes to decision making - in fact I'm quite overly forceful at times (my own issues - am working on them, okay?) when I feel I need to be - but what works for others does not work for somebody who is dealing with a partner who is suffering from PTSD - taking a "stand" can send them reeling into a quivering mess or flare up a past trauma that doesn't really need to surface because he's irritated the bitch out of you over some chore that you really wish he had got around to doing a week ago.

I've met a few survivor's partners and I must admit we do find common ground, but it's not like we all hang out with each other all the time so our meetings are fairly rare.  Also, most partners of survivors tend to keep a very low profile - and most survivors are more than happy with this as they actively try to shield this part of their lives from their lovers/wives and families.  That's not how David and I function, however, and it's unlikely that we ever will.  Those partners that I have met who are like us have been so helpful - we look at one another with that knowing look, like hippies did after they'd taken acid and they'd just "grok" someone merely by seeing them at a party.

Lately, because the Royal Commission has raised awareness of David's and so many other survivor's horrific childhoods I have had enquiries as to how this is affecting me, and boy is that one hard to answer.  "He cries a lot" was a common stock reply.  I'd use it mainly because people did not really understand what it actually meant.  When someone who is suffering from PTSD weeps they look so broken you actually fear that they will never again regain their former composure.  David is amazing at being able to face the world but there are times, when he's at home and in that safe zone, that his weeping and wracking sobs can find a way out of his inner core and shake through the foundations of his soul.  It's never a pleasant thing to observe for anyone (and I have an ongoing issue with folks crying).  I often feel most uncomfortable when somebody displays emotions other than my usual favourites = happy, joy and angry, so I can find it tremendously challenging at times.  Holding him usually helps.  And shutting the fuck up.

Patience is a virtue and by golly have I become much better at dealing with things than when I was younger.  I won't stand for nonsense any more - I'm nearly 50 now so if you piss me off I will tell you why, loudly and clearly.  If I don't want to do something and you needle me about it and try to "cajole" me by bitching about it to me I will probably tell you to "fuck right off" rather vehemently.

When David annoys me, however,  I have learned to take a breath and not bash him with blunt brute force.  I'm not perfect, it doesn't always work out as planned however I am so much better than the raging youth that I once was.  Also, I have learned that there has to be a limit to the amount of alcohol that I am able to consume in one sitting.  I simply cannot afford to 'lose control' any more.  It's a bit like when mothers (and fathers too - although it usually takes them a little longer to get on board this particular train) realise that they have to be able to take charge of situations at a moment's notice at any time while they're caring for their children - they simply cannot afford to be out of control because if the phone rings and there is an emergency.....

Overall I feel blessed that I met David.  Without him, my life would be so different.  I can't even begin to imagine where that drunken whore that I was would have ended up.  I have my own blemishes and issues and traumas, most of them much less public than my partner's have been, so it's not like David is the only broken one in the relationship and it's just possible that maybe that is why we work so well together.  Well, everyone says that we do all the time.  In the words of my best friend Kate, who sadly passed away in her sleep a few years back now: "You two...... I just love you two".

Yes, I just love us two too.